Fortunately, I was able to meet my one key requirement. The migration was a complete one-to-one pairing from WordPress to Hugo. Every post I wrote between 2015 and 2024 made the jump intact. Even the images and URL schema! You can go back, browse the archives, and read a decade’s worth of my written word in my new site. Best of all, every old URL for my WordPress blog will seamlessly redirect to the new home here.

But I didn’t just move the content; I also built a custom Hugo theme from the ground up. (Because of course I did.) I began working on the theme over a year ago for my own site (this very one!). Originally I developed the code inside my own website, but eventually, I moved the theme code into its own repository in June 2025. However, I spent a lot of time in March working on my theme, giving it a solid structure for blogging, and turning it into something highly functional. I confess that AI was significantly used in improving my Hugo theme. It was my first time ever using an AI agent to do something outside of a browser. For various reasons, I chose to work with Claude AI for this project, and it helped me accomplish clearly-defined milestones in my mind since a long time. I wanted to create a theme that was still useful for me, but had the broad appeals of any basic blogging tool or engine out there today. And I believe I achieved that together with AI assistance, my pedantic review patterns, and OCD-like obsession for my design vision. My hope is that eventually, more people than just me could benefit from it.

Of course, a beautifully optimized, custom-themed blog is still just an empty vessel if you don’t write. And to say a lot has happened in my life since 2024 would be an understatement. The last twenty-three months had much to teach me in holding profound grief and incredible joy at the same time.

The Hardest Goodbyes 🔗

The heaviest reality of this past year was a prolonged season of caregiving that culminated in back-to-back losses. Right before Christmas in December 2023, my mother was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma, better known as bile duct cancer. Throughout 2024, my sister and I walked alongside her through her cancer journey, doing everything we could to support her. Alongside this, my maternal grandmother’s health was steadily declining due to the onset of dementia.

The emotional and physical toll of managing both of their needs is why I spent so much time away from work throughout 2025, and why my availability became so unpredictable. Ultimately, we faced an unimaginable timeline: my mother passed away in September 2025, and then one month later, in October 2025, my grandmother also passed.

Toward the end of 2025, after they were both gone, I slowly but steadily began the process of climbing out and getting caught up on everything. Throughout all of this, my sister was my absolute rock. Even now, my sister and I are still dealing with the long-term ripple effects and the heavy administrative burden of navigating probate court and managing an estate. Walking through this long, heavy aftermath as partners with my sister means everything to me. I could not navigate this season of life without her.

Finding “Home” Across an Ocean 🔗

On the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, my life expanded in the best way possible: I married the love of my life and muse of my soul. In November 2025, my wife and I began the next chapter of life together. She is currently living and working in Germany. Most of the time since then is spent navigating the unique complexities of our union This includes what is usually a simple question for most married couples: where to live.

Because international immigration is a notoriously slow and complex machine, our life is currently a transatlantic hybrid. Right now, while I permanently reside in Georgia, USA, my time is shuffled between the USA, being with my wife in Germany, and traveling for work.

While we are managing the distance for now, our biggest ongoing project is my official relocation to Germany. The exact timeline is fluid, but our hope & prayer is to celebrate the winter holidays in Germany together this year as residents. I look forward to sharing more about this process as it unfolds. (Including any potential trauma of migrating from temperate, warm Georgia to somewhere much colder most of the year.)

The Weight of Context Switching 🔗

Between the flights, the time zones, and my day job at Red Hat supporting Fedora, my brain is regularly forced into a relentless state of context switching.

The “Execution Mode” I use to navigate probate court, resolving medical bills, and executing an estate actually uses the exact same back-office muscles I use to manage budgets and plan events for Fedora. The hardest part lately was not lack of passion, but the sheer volume of threads I am holding. I am constantly shifting gears between my work at Red Hat and Fedora, then to coordinating international immigration, and dealing with the immediate reality of life—like trying to figure out when a technician can fix the broken outdoor air-conditioning unit at my house in the middle of a workday.

If you have noticed me working odd, irregular, or even borderline unhealthy hours lately, that is why. Work is not necessarily an escape from the grief; it is one engine that keeps me moving. So, that is a part of my coping mechanism. But feeling spread this thin has also been a wake-up call that I need to delegate more, reduce the number of hats I am wearing, and focus on delivering deeper, higher-quality work on fewer things.

The Anchor and The Code 🔗

When I am dropping plates and feeling completely drained, someone might wonder why I keep showing up to work. For me, it was always about Fedora. I do not mean this as a humble brag, because I understand it is not this way for everyone. But for me, Fedora was always more than a paycheck; Fedora is the people and community bonds. Getting to build a free and Open Source operating system that aligns with my values, alongside a community I genuinely love, is what anchors me here.

That same drive to build and organize is the same reason why I took on this massive blog migration. Occasionally, I have some deep-seated OCD-like tendencies. Creating structure is another way how I cope with a world that often feels entirely out of my control. During my mother’s and grandmother’s health declines, the volume of incoming paperwork was overwhelming. It was an endless stream of letters, bills, hospital discharge packets, and insurance statements.

To manage it, I accidentally built a massive, semantic digital library. I ended up purchasing one of the best Linux-compatible HP digital scanners on the market to handle the influx of paper. I became incredibly efficient at scanning stacks of paper, writing rules to sort and filter emails, sorting and categorizing PDFs, and developing strict file-naming patterns so everything was easily searchable. It sounds novel, but keeping the physical paper stacks from taking over my own space gave me a tangible sense of peace. So, organizing the things I can control gives me the confidence to leap in and handle the chaotic, uncontrollable moments when they arrive.

Plus, if I am being completely honest, I am exhausted from the WordPress ecosystem altogether. I held significant anticipation for canceling my expensive WordPress hosting service and various other subscriptions and fees tied to running WordPress. However, what I did not expect to find while working on this project was a spark of joy for creation that I did not feel in a long time. My childhood and adolescence were filled with a curious desire to make things that were helpful and useful. This is perhaps what nudged me in the direction of computer science and information technology, because these were domains I could understand. I confess feeling mixed emotions that this rediscovery of joy for creation was mixed with AI assistance. Yet at the same time, this is a project that was on my list since several years, and “pays off” a lot of technical debt. I look forward to maintaining and hosting my website here, and rediscovering my writing voice. (And I can use Vim to write blog posts now too, hooray!)

My creative engineering spark is still very much alive.

Taking it One Day at a Time 🔗

It has been twenty-three months of extreme migrations—digital, geographical, and emotional. The dust is not all settled yet, and I am still finding my steady footing. But now that my new blog engine is finally running, I am excited to share more of the journey, the code, and whatever else comes next.

(One more yak shaved.)

The media report this season is warmer,
The scientists discover the planet is hotter,
While glaciers slide into the sea.

It is the birth of spring,
After a dark, lonely winter,
Yet the warmth is not warming.

In this moment,
The spring in March comes like the summer in May,
Leaving this July to the imagination.

A shiver of emotions,
Ripples from my brain down my spine,
As I wonder of the future.

But as I drive forward with bright blue skies overhead,
The world erupting in the color and life of an early spring,
My worried mind is suddenly soothed.

Yes,
The world is warmer, the planet is hotter,
And there is so much that we must all do.

Yet in this moment, I feel a peace,
Surrounded in the fragrance of spring flowers,
As the warm sun gently caresses my face.

Joy is an ingredient for enlightened action,
It fills my goblet full of passion and zest,
And suggests to me my true motivations.

In this moment, I am here,
One with the breath of the wind,
Dissolved into the colors of the spring afternoon.

In this moment, I am here,
And I am reminded,
To never let despair rob me of my joy.

Photo by Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash. Modified by Justin Wheeler. CC BY-SA 4.0.

These words speak power. Their power comes in their ability to pull someone out from the busy stream of life and reach deep into their heart. As if to be plucked out of the chaos, even for just a moment. They are words that are easy to read, easy to write. But to say them with meaning, to deliver them with sincerity to another human being… it is something that many of us would struggle with. (Perhaps the bias may be toward men who typically aren’t steered by the society towards navigating these emotional waters.)

Making of the shells 🔗

It amuses and perplexes me how something that can be so positively powerful can feel out of reach for many of us. Throughout our relatively short time on this planet, it is easy (and sometimes necessary) to create a shell around ourselves. A big, hard, strong shell that protects us from the hurt, the pain, and the sadness that sometimes bubbles and oozes out from the earth. Fear of our neighbors becomes an insecurity that is targeted and exploited by the political powers of our day.

So of course, the world can feel cold. Or even dead. But those shells that we carry and build over our life can also be cold and hard themselves. When we are surrounded by coldness and hardness, it is naturally difficult to expect that compassion to flow like a river out from the world. The shells cover over our hearts with coldness and hardness, so if enough time passes inside the shell, we might conclude that the world is a cold and hard place.

Leaving the shells 🔗

But the only mistake in our human existence is to never leave the shell. Sometimes it is necessary and sometimes it is required. There are awful things that ooze out of the cracks of our fragile yet interdependent society. But if we make the shell our home, we sacrifice the warmth of the sun. We refuse the possibility of the beauty, the love, and compassion that also exists in our planet. We can find beauty in the smallest of things and most unusual of places. But if we are stuck in the shell, we are hidden from what is uncomfortable and difficult, but also what is joyful and empowering.

May we all come to know our shell, and also to know when we are in our shell. If we stay in it too long, we might forget what it is to take it off. What it feels like to feel joy. What it feels like to feel love. To accept love and give love. The most powerful, transformative, and awe-inspiring experiences on this planet called Earth will pass over us if we allow our hearts to harden.

Choose to love, not to hate.

Choose to trust, not to fear.

Always forgive, but never forget.

Follow the joyous path of light, and avoid the cynical path of darkness.

Know when to wear our shell for necessary protection, and know when to take it off for being vulnerable and human.

Breathe.

Background context 🔗

This reflection came after a bike ride. The rides are typically my most reflective time. There are no screens, no notifications, no distractions. It is me. The path. And my breath. After a week when I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed, this reflection came from a meditative mood and my desire to use my blog as a place to express myself better. (I think writing this post was more therapeutic than the tweet I was originally writing.)

A special thanks to Thich Nhat Hahn and this El Ten Eleven track for guiding my thoughts while writing:

While I was pondering this reflection, my employer announced layoffs a couple weeks ago. While there is a lot that could be said about that, what I will say is that a certain root was pulled; the foundation of trust built between leadership and employee was shaken. Only further action and time will show the full impact on the company and my remaining colleagues. Nonetheless, a very recent negative experience with regard to trust also expanded my perspective of how trust is defined and what its role is in a community.

Brené Brown on trust 🔗

Later, I came across a sound bite of an interview with Brené Brown about trust (and more). Toward the end of the interview, she talks about her book, Braving the Wilderness (which I haven’t read, but seems interesting). She explained what the wilderness is and a tool that we can keep with us (“BRAVING”) to stay grounded in ourselves and also what trust means.

She also had a powerful definition of belonging, which put forward the idea that belonging is internal to ourselves and even is a spiritual practice; belonging is not defined externally or given to and taken from us by others.

Below is my summary of “BRAVING” and the wilderness, together with notes and thoughts about how community leaders can act honestly and authentically, both when times are good and when times are hard.

Trust: Remember “BRAVING” 🔗

There are seven elements to building, developing, and measuring trust. Each of these seven elements are a resource for being honest, authentic, and genuine in both easy and hard times. You can remember these seven elements as an acronym: “BRAVING”.

B: Boundaries 🔗

You set boundaries. When you don’t know what they are, you ask. You are clear about what is okay and what is not.

R: Reliability 🔗

You do what you say and you say what you do. The hard thing is that you are not hustling for worthiness, so you are not completely over committing and not delivering.

A: Accountability 🔗

You don’t back channel and blame. You hold people accountable in a straightforward way.

V: “Vault” 🔗

You do not use stories that are not yours as social currency. You keep them in “the vault.” Using others’ stories as a bid for connection causes others to trust you less. This is the other side of confidentiality.

I: Integrity 🔗

You choose courage over comfort and practice your values. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, and easy. Your accomplishments stand out when you operate from a place of discomfort, or outside of your comfort zone.

N: Non-judgment 🔗

You can ask for help without feeling judged. I can ask for help without judging myself.

G: Generosity 🔗

When something happens, you assume positive intent. Give someone a chance, or the benefit of the doubt, before launching into anger.

Braving the wilderness 🔗

What is the wilderness? It is those times when we stand alone, the times when we go out on a limb, the times we walk away from what we know in our ideological bunkers and beliefs.

“BRAVING” is a tool to help us manage the wilderness. There will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary, and we’ll doubt our ability to make our way through the uncertainty. Someone, somewhere, will say, “Don’t do it. You don’t have what it takes to survive the wilderness.” This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself, “I am the wilderness.”

Photo by Artem Sapegin on Unsplash. Modified by Justin Wheeler.

This thought emerged to me, as I stood under the warm stream of water in the same shower I had used countless times over the last ten years. Over those previous ten years, so much of my life has changed. The biggest change is that my life was my own now. I have the power to make decisions with regard to my life. I also have the resources and means to act on those decisions. So, now I have more direct influence over the everyday things around me; there is no parent or guardian to delegate decision-making. As I chart my own path and mark my course, I realize that there were two separate paths I was walking on all this time.

Those two separate paths were my personal life and my career. I walked both paths, but both paths were distinctly separate and isolated from the other. There are brief moments where the two paths intersect. Generally, though, I found that my lives at home and work are two different planes of existence. So, a question remained placed neatly in my mind for a number of years. Should these two paths be unified into one or should they remain separate?

Thus… the middle path. 🔗

The shower thought suggested the two paths did not have to either join or split. Instead, I could pursue a middle path where I live genuinely and authentically to myself, without splitting myself into two alternate egos. The middle path allows me to keep one foot in my personal life and one foot in my professional life. The middle path allows me to be the same self in the one life that I live.

It is a beautiful reflection, although it is much easier to conceptualize than to act upon. Or easier said than done! For so long, I segmented my life at home and life at work into two boxes. Now, in order to find the middle path, I have some work to do. I have to first unpack the boxes of my mind, reorganize and reorient, and then repack into one, bigger box.

My challenge for the next decade of life is to find the balance between these two worlds. I continue to sail further into my adult years and farther from my child years. So, the continuity of separation must end. Now, I hope to direct my life in such a way that I find the middle path and live harmoniously with family, friends, and my hobbies while also being passionate and committed to my work and craft. When aptly balanced, this leaves room for spiritual growth. It allows me to lead my life toward positive change to achieve a more just, more humane world.

Om mani padme hum!

Photo by Luke van Zyl on Unsplash. Modified by Justin Wheeler.

one, two
I fell in love with you
Caught me by surprise

three, four
My focus was on you
There was me, you, & the road

five, six
I took each breath
Felt each beat of my heart

seven, eight
I realized Your rhythm
Pulled into Your pace

nine, ten
I became my breath
Centered at Your feet

one, two

Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash. Modified by Justin Wheeler.

In those moments, I think about how lost I truly was. Running away from anxiety and an unhappy past by keeping myself busy. Overthinking and ruminating on all my social interactions with others. In many ways, living in under the shadow of generational codependency. Yet through all of that, I still maintained a simple desire to be good and help others.

I think of the interactions that you and I had in those same moments. I am brought back to that evening, laughing in our hearts and hearing each other as we sipped wine under the setting sun on the river. A late-night taxi trip back to the hotel after a night out with old and new friends. The gifts you shared with me.

They are memories I do not only see in my mind, but also feel with my whole being. Even this long after they have passed. For that, I remain grateful.

While I was saying “yes”, I was afforded opportunities that I had known only as unaffordable. I had a chance to live out and explore my heart, and the unusual circumstances that make up my life. For the time I said “yes”, I am grateful for the people and things that subtly shaped my subconscious mind and what I learned about myself in the process of learning about others.

But I was not the first one to say “no”. I found both the closure I needed after a frustrating final year, and the luck to find a better way to live according to my values through my work.

So it was surprising when the conversation restarted after so long. It caught me off-guard for a number of reasons. Of most interest to me, I had never valued my community management work in an annual salary range like that. This experience put the value of my work into perspective; the context of the “who” is also significant in this way. Not only did it change my perspective on the value of this work, but it made me aware to what the upper bounds of salary ranges may look like for those privileged few organizations with huge talent development budgets and incentive programs.

Why? 🔗

But this stroke of fate also made me question my “why”. Why do I do what I do? For what or for whom do I do it for? These are deep questions that I have a privilege of asking myself. When I looked inward and sought to understand my feelings, I knew that I measure employment offers in my ability to live with an abundant heart. The salary range is secondary.

Every day, I wake up and get to ask how my daily work and practice impacts the lives of children. While there is more complexity and metrics in play, the ultimate purpose of what I do is centered first on real human impact, not stock prices and operational profit. There is no salary in any dollar range that I would trade for what I have.

So this time, it was my turn to say no. Not out of spite, nor out of anger. But the seasons I have changed, and so have I. My old leaves have fallen and new ones are in their place. I am grateful for the mentorship and guidance I received for those years I said “yes”. As alluring as it is may be to imagine a 250% pay increase…

I’m happy to continue making good from where I am with the things I already have.

Blogs were (mostly) safe spaces where we could share our thoughts and views. We were often influenced to think we were sharing our thoughts and views with the world, but really we were writing to a known audience. We were writing to the people who read our blogs; unless you were a 2006 Internet celebrity or mom blogger, our audiences were small and narrow. Perhaps both to our benefit and to our detriment.

How does this compare to today? Most online content by the masses is condensed into bite-sized thoughts: tweaked for the tweet, fed to the feed, and longing for the likes. Our thoughts and ideas are in competition in a race where attention is sparse. But to blame this solely on social media is not fair either. More consumers and producers exist today than we had fifteen years ago. We have more means to produce content today than our bandwidth-challenged dial-up connections at the turn of the new millennium. Social media went mainstream in our society because it was at the right place, at the right time.

As we progress further along in this decade, the art of blogging as a vehicle for human expression becomes sidelined further in nostalgia. Maybe in part because we have less collective time than we did before. Perhaps also because we became lost in this mirage of how we are supposed to appear and how we are supposed to act when our lives are lived out in this strangely self-controlled yet algorithmically influenced existence. Blogging, as a form of expression dating back to the earliest times in the Internet, exists partially outside this algorithmic existence.

Yet it still exists. For me, my blog is still online. But my blog maintains an absence of these kinds of emotional, artful expressions that better show me as a human being, not just a contributor or participant in some technology projects or communities.

So, lost somewhere in that cyclical loop of (self-defeating?) nostalgia, I push my thoughts out into the sea of the Internet; a message in a bottle without a final destination. Just a thought: here for a moment and gone in the next.

The era of disc jockeys and long LPs are past. While human-curated playlists continue to exist, they are in steep competition with weekly playlists of tailored content. Every week, a personal digital deejay runs your music life. This digital deejay knows what you are vibing right now, what were the hot skips, and what might be your new moods for the week. It is hard for any human to compete with that level of curated music freshness.

But this did not answer my question. Who curated this playlist, that I felt so intently in my heart? In this way, I realized it did not matter if it were a real human being who hand-dragged the songs from one album to another, or if it were a machine learning algorithm that uniquely picked songs only for me. The algorithm is still human, in a world which is also structured, shaped, and changed by humans.

Perhaps it was the human essence of this algorithm that compelled the playlist into my feed. A long time ago, someone would have called something like this fate. But I felt a warmth that this playlist helped me feel a sense of my own humanity, in a time where I was feeling so many different things. Call it machine learning, call it fate, call it biased human activity, and you are right.

The break-up of robot humans known as Daft Punk earlier this year was heart-wrenching. Two humans who conveyed the humanity of machines to me through their music. They shared a perspective in my life that I did not know I was looking to hear. Despite the break-up, their message remains clear in my heart. Their message is an acknowledgement that what is robot is also human.

So if algorithms and computers are human by their association to humans, what does this speak of the humans who create the robots? Are there computer humans? Computer humans who live their life as if on a script? Computer humans who struggle with memory storage or retention? If Daft Punk claims the title to being robot human / human robot, then it might also be inferred that there are robotic, programmed humans who take calculated steps to create the world they want, irrespective of others.

Indeed, computer human.

I hope we may aspire to Daft Punk’s vision of human-is-robot/robot-is-human instead.

No culture can live if it attempts to be exclusive.

Mahatma Gandhi

I believe in the value of upholding the Open Source Definition as a mature and dependable legal framework while recognizing the OSI needs to work better with works that are not Open Source. My ambition as a candidate is to support existing work to enable a more responsive, more agile Open Source Initiative.

Twitter: @jwf_foss

Why should you vote for me? 🔗

I bring a public sector perspective to a conversation where it seems missing, despite the dependent relationship of the public sector to Free and Open Source works. In my work, I provide Open Source mentorship and coaching to humanitarian-driven start-ups hailing from 57 countries. I am an excellent communicator, I understand a subset of challenges faced by Open Source communities, and I have a collaborative nature.

I am also a millennial. The GPL was first drafted before I was born. My lived experience with Free Software and Open Source gives me a vantage point not well-represented in Open Source legal and policy work. My personal experience with Free and Open Source software is impacted by years of untangling my own digital life from technology decisions made for me, not by me. With that in mind, I realize not everyone can afford to be a Free Software purist, but we can still uphold the values of Open Source even if we do not use it exclusively.

Who am I? 🔗

I work as an Open Source Technical Advisor at UNICEF in the Office of Innovation. I manage and support an Open Source Mentorship programme for start-up investments and teams building Open Source products and communities from more than 57 countries. I also provide Open Source support to other UNICEF colleagues and recently coordinated UNICEF Innovation’s participation in the [on-going, at publication time] Outreachy round.

Outside of work, I have contributed to the Fedora Project for almost six years. I am soon ending a year-long term as the Diversity & Inclusion Advisor to the Fedora Council. I am a founding member of the Fedora Community Operations and Diversity & Inclusion teams. 

What are my qualifications? 🔗

I first contributed to Open Source as a teenager. I was a community moderator and staff member of the open source SpigotMC project. There, I handled user reports for a community forum with over 400,000 registered members. This is one of the most unique communities I have worked in, as the Spigot Community is a population of hundreds of thousands with an age demographic concentrated between ages 13-25.

Additionally, I am on the advisory board of Open @ RIT, the Open Source Programs Office for the Rochester Institute of Technology in Rochester, New York. This enables me to work more closely with academia, which has a growing interest in the growing ecosystem of academic Open Source Program Offices.

Finally, I regularly work with teams building Open Source solutions in support of children and UNICEF’s core work. I have lived experience of coaching teams on Open Source best practices across six continents. I have seen where Open Source worked well and where it didn’t. I bring this background and perspective into the work I would do as a member and representative elected by the Open Source Initiative constituency.

In summary, my lived experiences in Open Source, my connection to academic Open Source, and the humanitarian focus of my work make me a uniquely-qualified candidate for the OSI Board.

Interview responses 🔗

Luis Villa published four interview questions for OSI Board candidates on Opensource.com. I originally tweeted my response, but I copied it here for wider visibility too.

Q1: What should OSI do… 🔗

“…about the tens of millions of people who regularly collaborate to build software online (often calling that activity, colloquially, open source) but have literally no idea what OSI is or what it does?”

I am excited at the opportunity to contribute here. The UNICEF Office of Innovation (and my own Open Source Mentorship programme) rely on the Open Source Definition to guide our international Open Source work, even if we are still learning how to do it best. But without the OSD as a guiding light, our work is much harder. My team is well-positioned to be an advocate and voice of support for the Open Source Definition in policy environments where Open Source is not. This relates to on-going Giga connectivity work to connect schools worldwide to the Internet for equitable education opportunities for children.

So to directly answer the question, we have a conversation. Avoid anger when others choose software that is not Open Source. Avoid exasperated frustration when people pick licenses that are not Open Source. But the first step is always to teach & educate on the stories, values and history of the Free/Open Source community.

Q2: If an Ethical Software Initiative sprung up tomorrow, what should OSI’s relationship to it be? 🔗

The good folks behind the Ethical Source movement have done so. The OSI needs to be open to collaborate and engage with other orgs who steward legal works that do not adhere to the OSD.

I want to invite the Ethical Source folks into the conversation. How can we better partner together? If elected, I would commit myself to organizing a public town hall or community discussion with the Ethical Source folks. Coraline Ada Ehmke, Tobie Langel, and many other folks are doing great work in this space. So, let’s collaborate and work together.

Q3: When a license decision involves a topic… 🔗

“…on which the Open Source Definition is vague or otherwise unhelpful, what should the board do?”

The OSI needs to improve at saying what it is not. We are more clear on what the OSD is than we were even last year. As a candidate, I don’t have crazy ideas for the Definition. But there are things that are not Open Source. The world is changing.

We need to adapt. We must be nimble in changing with the world, or the values and motives of the original Free/Open Source movement are at risk of volatility. As a candidate, if presented with an unclear situation, I would take one of two options:

1. If the proposed work stands against a principle of the OSD, it should not be approved as such, or the OSD becomes meaningless; OR
2. Take an interpretive, “living document” view of the OSD for new copyleft innovations where the OSD is not clear or ambiguous.

For context, I am a copyleft believer. Promoting and advocating for the stability and integrity of Open Source licenses is a fundamental part of my interest as a candidate for the Board.

Q4: What role should the new staff play in license evaluation (or the OSD more generally)? 🔗

I don’t have an answer to this one. Foundations are mostly new to me. I would defer to expertise and listen to what others with more years have to say. I want to better understand the capacity and ambition of the OSI to take on new work with a steady staff.

I am a collaborator by nature and a team player. So, I want to enable the work for the OSI to be more agile and responsive in what I see as core, critical work.

That’s it. If you have specific questions, you are welcome to get in touch with me on Twitter or add a comment below.

I don’t say that casually either. I have involuntarily found Open Source as my calling. Or my people. I contribute to Open Source because I love to collaborate and work together with other people. This challenges me. It humbles me in a way that I know I can always learn something new from someone else. For this, Open Source and Free Software have enriched my life. They have also given me, again involuntarily, an odd but productive way of coping with my own mental health issues, anxiety, and depression.

So how do I make sense of the emotions and feelings I have now? How do I untangle this complicated web of events and reactions by other people? To ignore it doesn’t seem possible. If I remove emotion, I am left with a purely rational motive to involve myself in this contemporary issue. My work, profession, and career goals are directly affected by however this discussion goes. There is no way out for me. It’s my job, so I have to care. But if you add emotions back in, to stand still and remain idle is heartbreaking. To do nothing is to commit to defeat. Resignation. The darkness.

Yet what is there to do? The only thing Stallman ever directly gave to me in life was an email explaining elegantly how there was nothing he could do for the Minecraft GPL community fiasco. At a time when I was so personally lost as I saw a community I love tear itself apart, he stood by idly as the so-called steward of these licenses that I was just too naïve to believe in. That experience to me now is amplified in the light of the much more egregious things he is accused of.

So, the Free Software Foundation welcomes Richard Matthew Stallman back to its board. Wonderful. Congratulations Mr. Stallman. I am going to pause for a moment of sadness and hurt as I contemplate the impact of this moment on our fragile movement, which has much bigger enemies today than it has in its 40 year legacy. But then…

I will move on. Because we have to. The only way is forward.

But over time, I blurred the lines between personal and professional communication. The emotional words in my vocabulary were gradually phased out through my formal education. There were many influences on the sculpting of my voice. High school teachers critiqued writing styles for A.P. exams. Communication professors clearly outlined how to write business emails in a level of detail I didn’t know was possible. These experiences showed me one way communication could be more direct and effective.

But I believe I may have mistaken professional communication as the only kind of communication. My education prepared me to understand scientific research studies and how a compiler works, but didn’t teach me how to listen to my heart and put words to the emotions I was feeling.

So, now looking back at my blog history, it feels like reading a news site instead of these personal slices into my thinking and what is going on for me at any given point of time. I retained some of it in the beginning, like with my annual Year in Review posts that last published in 2017. But now, there is little here that I think gives meaningful insight to who I am outside of the context of technology or open source.

Indeed, despite being the sole author, publisher, and editor of my own blog, there still seems like a great deal is left unsaid. I cannot speak words where there was already silence, but I can choose to break the silence. So, here is to breaking silences and finding your voice.

This blog post was first written on August 28th, 2020.

Today is a sad day. Chadwick Boseman is dead. At 43 years old, he lost a terminal battle with stage IV colon cancer. As his great light dims, I am left to wonder what loss will happen next in 2020.

But like the ashes of a phoenix, we will rise. His death reminds me of the fierce urgency of now, as said by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. That in the moment of darkness that follows death, a new bright light will emerge. It is just so human for us to cling to the embers of hope, in the fear that we will one day be delivered from suffering.

Boseman was a social leader and source of inspiration for many. His life and many roles championed racial equity on the Hollywood screens. Boseman was passionate about what he did. He led a committed life.

Boseman’s death caused me to reflect on the definition of Freedom in the movement I am embedded within: the Free Software movement. Yet in this community I value, there are seeds of discontent. The fierce urgency of now has revealed that systemic social injustices continue to exist in our society, as they have for centuries. The generational question we must answer as witnesses to this moment is: will we continue to tolerate the systemic faults within our society? Or must we imagine a more fair society? A more just society? I know we can because we have to.

On the origins of Software Freedom 🔗

A background on the Software Freedom movement is helpful to understand this discourse on freedom.

Free Software is a social movement born in the 1980s in North America. In the beginning, it was mostly a set of ideals and values set forth by MIT computer scientist Richard Stallman. Stallman witnessed a dramatic shift in how the free market distributed software in the 1980s. Previously to then, software was usually trivial; an afterthought. Software was freely shared between companies, universities, and individuals. Part of this is to blame on the industry’s intent focus on hardware during the Cold War. At the time, there was no standardization to hardware development, so software source would have to be rewritten to compile on different hardware architectures from competing vendors. However, this mindset eroded in the 1980s. There were a few lead architectures at the time, mostly championed by Intel. Software had to be compiled less often. Now, this freely shared source code could be repurposed much more easily.

At this point, the software industry went mainstream. Software began to receive acute focus by companies with computer science talent. Talent needs moved beyond hardware. Stallman saw all this, and believed the shift was at a great loss to the personal freedoms of the individual. So he coined “Software Freedom”, and a movement formalized.

With that background, the word “Freedom” has a specific, coded meaning to people who believe in the principles of Software Freedom. Software Freedom protects a set of digital rights that the movement leaders first advocated for in the 1980s and 1990s. The Four Freedoms (to use, to study, to share, to improve) are entrusted to the individual user of a computer system.

Freedom in 2020 🔗

However, it is 2020. Not 1985. Not 1991. 2020.

Questions about what Freedom means could never be more removed from the context of right now. Software Freedom asserts rights fully-realized by participants in the new digital society. Yet billions of people on Earth remain unconnected to the Internet. How can you realize rights that were never accessible to begin with?

Even if you are participating in digital society, freedom to read source code and make changes to it are just one of many different examples of freedom. But what other definitions exist?

The freedom to be safe asleep in your home without being gunned down by those entrusted to protect you.

The freedom that your children may live in a world where they may realize their fullest potential.

The freedom to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

In comparison, the freedom to read the source code of the web browser that keeps crashing on an unsupported device does not practical value to people who have different questions in the pursuit of freedom.

Reconciliation and intersections 🔗

But surely there is somewhere we can reconcile these different definitions of freedom. They may conflict at times but they are not in opposition to each other. There must be a way to realize both the freedoms of the individual to live a better life, and the freedoms of witting or unwitting participants in a digital world governed by increasingly invisible hands.

The intersection is surprising. Before identifying it, it is important to understand its purpose. The purpose of the intersection of these two definitions of freedom is to unify and empower people to be in control of their own destinies. Our destinies and futures are influenced but not entirely controlled by our environments. Both types of freedom believe in the right of the individual to understand the ways a system works, in order to understand how the system impacts them.

Said simply, the purpose is inclusion. The purpose is to bring together. The purpose is to empower. The purpose is give individuals the tools to shape their own destinies.

The name of this intersection is digital intersectionality.

Digital intersectionality makes inclusion a first-class citizen. It must take an intersectional approach from the outset if it is to accommodate the hyper-globalized world we live in. Albert Einstein once reflected in a letter to schoolchildren in Japan about his great delight in being able to communicate across such distances—something that was unheard of at the time. It is a cute memory, but also emphasizes the ways the world has changed since the most widely-known events of human genocide. Digital intersectionality has no borders. Its borders are decentralized; its borders may or may not have nationality. Copper wire, fiber lines, satellite receivers; these are the conduits that digital intersectionality resides in.

Digital intersectionality must be about inclusion. Digital intersectionality by definition must always be intersectional. Digital intersectionality must always consider the role of the individual in contributing to healthy, collective society. Digital intersectionality must embrace love.

What now? 🔗

Chadwick Boseman is gone. But we are not.

We are in the same world. Breathing the same air. Living under the same sun, and the same stars. As I see the void and grief left behind in his wake, as I look around me in a global pandemic that places the heaviest burdens on those with the most to bear, as I continue to see the effects of unjust systems perpetuate, I am thinking more about my own role in shaping the world we must create.

So I will continue to advocate and celebrate both freedoms, software freedom and inner freedom, under the mutual banner of digital intersectionality.

Special thanks to my early editors!

Two years passed since we last met in Bolzano. I remember you traveled in for a day to join the 2018 Fedora Mindshare FAD. You came many hours from your home to see us, and share your experiences and wisdom from both the global and Italian Fedora Community. And this week, I learned that you, Gabriele “Gabri” Trombini, passed away from a heart attack. To act like the news didn’t affect me denies my humanity. In 2020, a year that feels like it has taken away so much already, we are greeted by another heart-breaking loss.

But to succumb to the despair and sadness of this year would deny the warm, happy memories we shared together. We shared goals of supporting the Fedora Project but also learning from each other.

So, this post is a brief reflection of your life as I knew you. A final celebration of the great memories we shared together, that I only wish I could have shared with you while you were still here.

Ciao! 🔗

We had a unique privilege of meeting first in person before meeting online. At Flock 2015, of course I remember coming to your Fedora-Join session. This was my first introduction to the volunteer-supported mentorship community that exists in Fedora. Even though there was one particularly disruptive audience member, I remember learning from you and noting your long-time experience in the Fedora Community.

After that, we would come to know each other better. As I began a new chapter of my life at my university, we would become frequent collaborators. The Fedora Marketing team was always interesting to me, as part of the group of people who helped our community talk about and share the Fedora Project with others. Underneath your gentle mentorship, I learned the focus areas and history of the Fedora Marketing team.

At some point in 2015 or 2016, you asked me if I would like to chair a Marketing Team meeting. Thus began an early step in my journey from a participant to a facilitator. In a tragically ironic way, it strikes me how I did not see your guidance as mentorship at the time. I always saw our conversations as two friends discussing a shared hobby or interest. Such is the subtle art of teaching and mentorship.

Your many contributions 🔗

You were a cornerstone community member of Fedora for many years. Since our connection was from Fedora, it is worth noting the many contributions you made over the years. Long before Fedora or Linux were anything I knew about.

You and Robert Mayr co-authored a book together about Fedora 9, I think for the Italian Linux community. You were a one-time steward of the Fedora Join and Marketing teams. You were an influential member in shaping what Mindshare is today, from the days of the Fedora Outreach Steering Committee, the Fedora Ambassador Steering Committee before that, and grassroots community organizing in Italy even before that.

Beyond the source 🔗

But perhaps the memories I treasure most are the ones that don’t have much to do with Fedora at all. I remember learning that “in real life” you were a co-owner of a heating and air conditioning business in Italy. For many years, my family ran a heating and air conditioning company of our own. This was an experience I could always understand. I remember the times when you would go offline for some time. Then I would hear from you eventually, and you would tell me how the busy season kept you away from helping out in Fedora. And in a few words in IRC private messages, I simply knew and smiled.

We would meet at Flock events, but I find Flock is usually tough to get 1x1 time with others. I remember the day you came up and joined us in Bolzano for the 2018 Mindshare FAD. On a weekend day in March, you came and sat in a wine cellar converted to a conference room, where we spent the day recounting pain points and how Mindshare would address them.

And then, our small group went out for dinner. The food we ate and words we said are now faded memories, but the experience lives warmly in my heart as I think about what your life meant to me.

I was saddened to find no photographs or pictures of us together. But I went looking for our last conversations and found these final messages on IRC:

**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sun Dec  4 17:49:56 2016

Dec 04 17:49:56 <jflory7>   That would be fantastic... I'll definitely let you know if I have plans to visit Italy. :)

Dec 05 07:00:32 <mailga>    jflory7 hope it happens. :)

**** ENDING LOGGING AT Wed Dec  7 00:28:51 2016

I never got to take you up on your offer to visit your home and meet your family. But I am happy that I had the opportunity to partially fulfill that old promise of meeting together in Italy.

Why write this? 🔗

I didn’t write this post with an outline, or a template. These words came to me while sitting with my own emotions and feelings. I am writing this because this is an effective coping mechanism for me to process what is lost, but also how to move forward from the loss.

The Fedora Project has given me a lot over the last five years. I have met many wonderful people and contributed to things that matter a great deal to me. But Fedora has also taught me about loss. There are many lessons in life that have nothing to do with work, code, software, or engineering, but have everything to do with how we look at the world.

In the wake of losing you, I think of the kind words and memories we shared that I did not tell you were important to me. I think of how the opportunity is permanently missed for me to share my appreciation of your kindness and friendship. The tragedy of youth is perhaps that I failed to fully appreciate our connection until after you passed.

When writing this, I came to realize something for me. And this will be different for everyone. But I like to think for Gabrielle and me, Fedora was never just about building an operating system. It was about collaborating with other people, human beings, on a digital infrastructure project that mattered, and to share kindness unto others – especially beginners and newcomers.

Rest in peace, amico.

When I was a kid, one of the most important lessons I learned was saying “thank you” when someones does something nice for you. So, a few years ago, I learned about this awesome little website called Happiness Packets. Its purpose is simple but powerful. Happiness Packets are open source thank-you cards you can send over email. You can send Happiness Packets to anyone for anything. Your message can be as short or as long as you like. You can put your name on it or keep it anonymous. The choice is yours. And now, I want to challenge you (yes, you) to the 2020 #HappinessPacketChallenge!

What are Happiness Packets? 🔗

Upstream describes it best. This comes straight from the Happiness Packets website:

People are generally much more loved than they think they are. Especially when things don’t go according to plan, other people almost never think as harshly of you as you might think of yourself. It’s easy for us to complain when bad things happen, and yet we’re often fairly silent when things are good. Open-source communities are no different, especially when our main communication channels are textual and virtual.

The feeling that you made a difference, that your work matters and has value, and that the people you work with are happy to work with you, is an awesome feeling. With Open-Source Happiness Packets, we’re trying to spread that feeling.

How does it work?

Openly expressing appreciation, gratitude, or happiness to other people can be difficult. This is especially true when you don’t know them very well. Many of us come from cultures in which people are not open by default about such feelings, and naturally feel uncomfortable or even creepy to share them.

Open-Source Happiness Packets is a very simple platform to anonymously reach out to the people that you appreciate or to whom you are thankful in your open-source community. Your message can be sent anonymously if you feel uncomfortable to share your name with the recipient. Of course, we encourage you to share your name, but it’s completely optional!

What are Open-Source Happiness Packets?

You can learn more about the Happiness Packets Challenge by browsing through the Twitter hashtag.

Take the challenge! 🔗

So, what is the #HappinessPacketChallenge? I challenge you to do the following: write one Happiness Packet a day, every day, for one week starting Monday, 27 April and ending Sunday, 3 May. At a minimum, this is seven times where you say “thank you” to someone else. Of course, nothing is stopping you from sending more if you want!

Maybe you are overwhelmed by the negativity on social media or the news channel. Especially today, when everyone is talking about one single thing: COVID-19. Whatever the platform is, the negativity can eat at you. For one week, this is your opportunity to choose something different. For all of the good things and people in your life, spend a few minutes of each day this week to make someone’s day. It seems simple—and it is! But the power you have to spread the positivity is a big power. So this is the challenge you have: to commit yourself to spreading your little packet of happiness every day for one week.

“But, I don’t know what to say…” 🔗

Having a hard time coming up with words or not sure who to thank? No worries. Your message can be as short or as long as you like. If you’re not sure who to thank, look at software you are already using. Look for names and emails of maintainers of open source software you enjoy. If you’re already contributing to open source, consider folks in your community! Thank someone who had a hand in helping you get started, or gave you a little bit of encouragement when you needed it most.

Maybe you have other ideas or reasons to thank others. (Heartbleed or Shellshock anyone?) Whatever the reason, don’t make an excuse to not say thanks! The options are limitless. If you have a lot to say, say it! If not, even a simple “thanks for all the work you do!” can go a long way to make someone’s day.

Share your Happiness Packets 🔗

The magical part of Happiness Packets is sharing happy moments with others. If you receive one, don’t be afraid to share it with the world! Tweet at @happinesspacket on Twitter. Use the #HappinessPacketChallenge hashtag. Encourage other people to send their own thanks. If you get one other person to take the challenge, that has an impact on seven more people! Imagine what would happen if all of those seven people decided to take the challenge too.

So, I hope you will join me this year in this fun tradition. Get ready from Monday, 27 April to Sunday, 3 May to send some happiness! And if you’re feeling bold, challenge someone you know directly.

Love Letter by Vectors Market from the Noun Project.

This will be the second annual International Copyleft Conference. Participants from throughout the copyleft world — developers, strategists, enforcement organizations, scholars and critics — will be welcomed for an in-depth, high bandwidth, and expert-level discussion about the day-to-day details of using copyleft licensing, obstacles facing copyleft and the future of copyleft as a strategy to advance and defend software freedom for users and developers around the world.

This event will provide a friendly and safe place for discussion of all aspects of copyleft, including as a key strategy for defending software freedom!

Official conference website

This was my first time attending CopyleftConf. I attended on behalf of RIT LibreCorps to represent the sustainability efforts at the RIT FOSS@MAGIC initiative. However, I also represented myself as an individual in the Free Software movement. For CopyleftConf 2020, I arrived hoping to learn more about where we, as the Free Software community, are going. I also hoped to gain a deeper ethical perspective about our digital society.

Event reports take many forms. Since CopyleftConf 2020 is structured in a unique format, my event report is structured as follows:

• At a glance: structure and key takeaways: High-level overview of what CopyleftConf 2020 was like. What the biggest ideas on my mind were at the end of the day.
• Copyleft adopt curves: what drove copyright adoption then (or now?): Musings on the history of copyleft and movement building.
• Free Software, but for kids: Children and teenagers are already building open source communities. How do we include the next generation?
• Where are we going?: Software ethics and copyleft licensing.

At a glance: structure and key takeaways 🔗

If you’re here for the quick overview, this is it.

CopyleftConf 2020 is one of the best conferences I have attended. I bought my ticket the morning of the conference. Karen Sandler and Bradley Kuhn fired me up the day before in their FOSDEM 2020 talk. My initial reluctance to go was because I assumed it was a conference for FOSS lawyers. While it definitely includes that group, it isn’t exclusive to that group. CopyleftConf 2020 collected people from a diverse range of experiences and backgrounds in the open source world.

However, I also realized the “movers and shakers” in the Free Software world have been around a while. Many people there are embedded in this ecosystem for the last 10, 20, or even 30 years. I think I was the youngest person there. I realized Free Software has not done an excellent job of including my generation. This left me with interesting reflections on the future of copyleft and its ability to transfer lessons and values on to the next generation.

Structure: Dialogue and discussion 🔗

The best way to describe the format of CopyleftConf 2020 is “dialogue and discussion”. The first half of the conference started with traditional sessions, with speakers and slide decks. The end of the conference moved towards open panels with stronger audience participation. Most panels centered around topics or ideas addressed in the morning sessions.

I attended these sessions:

• Keynote (Tony Sebro)
• Copyleft adoption curves: what drove adoption then (or now?) (Luis Villa)
• Copyleft Expansion: What should – and shouldn’t – be on the table? (Deb Nicholson, Bradley M. Kuhn, Allison Randal, Heather J. Meeker, John Sullivan)
• The Rising Ethical Storm in Open Source (Coraline Ada Ehmke)
• Software Ethics and Copyleft Licensing (Karen Sandler)

I came up with three key takeaways from CopyleftConf 2020 as a whole (not including the detailed sections further below):

1. Open source is in an identity crisis. 🔗

Many people are confused. The confusion is simultaneously indecisive and divisive. I believe the identity crisis stems from that early decision in 1997 about what we call this particularly different way of developing and collaborating on software and technology. Free Software or open source? One is politically charged and historically exclusive, while the other is more neutral and business-friendly, and more inclusive to people who believe in compromise. Today, we are seeing a similar divide emerge between Free/Open Source and Ethical Source.

There are several emotions. It is deeply personal. For some, the promises of free/open source failed our collective humanity. For others, open source is a vastly successful turn of events to make the closed world more open. Yet for others still, it is both. CopyleftConf 2020 took a highlighter to this tension between what we consider right and wrong. It also questioned what the role of Free Software is in all of this.

I don’t think anyone has the answer yet. Surely some people left CopyleftConf 2020 with a more clear view if they think licensing is a viable approach or not. But CopyleftConf 2020 did not have this answer. It just made it clear that most of us are still wrestling with this.

2. Millennials are underrepresented. 🔗

Most of the time I was at CopyleftConf 2020, I had massive imposter syndrome. This is no fault of the conference or the great steps the organizers took to make it inclusive, but wow. There were so many people there who I have seen all across Twitter. People who are moving and shaking in different realms of the open source world.

Yet as I looked around the room, I started to wonder what the average age demographic of the room was. Being in my early 20s, I felt like I was in a room of Free Software giants. Many people there have been pushing the conversation forward and definitively fighting for Software Freedom for a decade or more.

And then there was me. I don’t know what my role or higher calling is yet in this great big movement we call Free Software. While I was glad to be in the room, I felt sorely underrepresented in age.

Born digital 🔗

I couldn’t help but find it unusual though. My generation and those after me are the first generations who were born into the digital society, built by those who came before us. When I was four years old, I was privileged to have my own computer. By six, I was connected to the Internet (even if it was dial-up). By fourteen, I was in a Linux command line running my own Minecraft server with thousands of players.

While my perspective is rooted in some privilege, there is something interesting in my experience. I was born into a world where I didn’t make the choices of what hardware or software I used. In the beginning, everything was handed to me or provided for me.

For kids and teenagers today, this couldn’t be more of a reality. Before COVID-19, when you went out to a restaurant or public place, how often would you see a small kid clutching a tablet, provided by an exhausted parent? Adolescents today grew up in the always-online worlds of Google and Snapchat.

Today’s teenagers and young adults I know are often keenly aware that they are the prey in a complex digital world they are already so deeply embedded in. So, why resist at all? To them, there is little point in resisting because all the technology decisions made for them early in life locked them deeper into this “predator-prey” ecosystem.

Is Free Software ready for the millennials? 🔗

So, I felt like an imposter at this conference of people who are wise to the role of Software Freedom in our new digital society, but never grew up in the kind of world I did. A lot of the people in the room at CopyleftConf 2020 developed their worldview, ethical perspectives, and software preferences as the world changed around them. Me and other people of my generation were born into this world.

It makes the conversation around Software Freedom very different, and also challenging, because the next ten and twenty years of Software Freedom will have to include today’s youth to be truly sustainable.

3. The world is changing. Will Free Software? 🔗

Related to the identity crisis and under-representation of youth, the theme of change begins to emerge. Stallman and other Free Software leaders in the 1980s and 1990s were ahead of their time to realize the importance of Software Freedom in respecting and protecting user freedom. Some of those same people were also in the room at CopyleftConf 2020.

But today’s world is changing. Software became the commodity in the 1970s and 1980s. Free Software was the resistance. Today, data is the new digital commodity. Software is just one piece of a bigger puzzle. Software Freedom may protect one aspect of our digital lives, but it would be nonsensical to assume the digital world would stay the same. Why should Free Software?

The 2020s will be definitive 🔗

So, CopyleftConf 2020 made me realize that the next ten years will be definitive. The 2020s will determine whether open source becomes yet another cog in strengthening our capitalist society and enthroning corporations as a great benefactor to technology, or if Software Freedom undergoes some sort of transformation to meet the new demands of freedom in our digital world.

No matter your political leanings, read any news site that isn’t a tech journal and tell me honestly that there are not some scary trends in our technology world. COVID-19 is just the latest example, with our data privacy and digital rights being on the sacrificial alter for our “safety” and “protection”. This line is all too common. I have heard it as a justification of many things across my life since September 2001.

So, what will Free Software do?

Copyleft adoption curves: what drove copyright adoption then (or now?) 🔗

Copyleft adoption has changed significantly over time, for better and for worse. This talk will survey the many factors that drive adoption, with particular focus on GPL v2 and Affero GPL v3. While some factors are obvious and reasonably well-understood (particularly the shift towards SaaS economics) many other nuanced factors play in as well.

Luis Villa

What I highlighted in my notes from Luis’s talk was his history lesson on adoption. While the history of Free Software wasn’t new to me, nor most people in the room, Luis took it in a different way. His history lesson was a reflection on “why?” and not just “what?”

Whether you think Free Software “won” or not, open source is here to stay. So, how did we get to where we are today? How did a famous software company go from calling open source an “intellectual property cancer” in 2001 to investing billions of dollars into open source and open source companies by 2020?

Add more chairs to the table 🔗

I loved this quote that Luis dropped: “Movement building is the only way to influence political change.” Luis gave examples from the 1990s of how evangelism and education were part of the building blocks of open source. There were “leading apps” that brought new people to the Free Software (or open source) table. Mozilla was the first browser that brought common lawyers in. A focus on education for lawyers, such as the F.S.F.’s 22,000 word F.A.Q., converted a motivation to learn into practical knowledge used for compliance work.

However, I think Luis’s goal was to define, not to prescribe. He implied that building a movement doesn’t start with writing a license, based on his personal experiences (he did lead drafting of the Mozilla Public License). My takeaway from Luis is that we need to think about how we build a movement that includes people who aren’t at the table today to build a strong foundation for what comes next.

Free Software, but for kids 🔗

There was a panel on copyleft expansion and what should and shouldn’t be at the table. At some point, the role of “the next generation” came up in heralding the values of copyleft licensing forward in light of the popularity of permissive licenses.

This was personal. My first experience in the open source world was as a community member and later a volunteer staff member of the largest open source Minecraft server software project. In my time in that community, I learned a lot. I saw a major breakdown of the GPL for a community of hundreds of thousands of young adults, teenagers, and children. So, indeed, how is “the next generation” going to herald these values of copyleft licensing?

Talk with us, not at us 🔗

It is interesting to be present in these conversations about “the next generation” because it usually feels like people are talking at me instead of with me. It took some reflection time to realize this after CopyleftConf 2020, but I feel like some older folks like to imagine that younger folks will come on board and just start steering the ship in the same course it has always traveled. Some younger folks may be fine with that.

But I also think a lot of younger people will ask more of Free Software because of our collective experiences with Free Software licenses. From my hey-days in the Minecraft community, there is bad blood towards the GPL and copyleft licensing because of the scars it left on the community, even if it was really because the GPL should never have been used in that context.

But the demands for more also stem from the collective treatment by those senior to us in traditional “FOSS circles.” Even at my university, I also see how students become bitter and frustrated in instances where senior faculty and older community members insist on a Free Software-first, no-compromises approach. As if it were so simple for my generation.

I already explained the perspective of younger folks earlier in this blog post. But the way some senior folks treat us in the proper Free Software world is sometimes exclusionary and off-putting, even if that isn’t the intention. It discards great opportunity for guidance and mentorship. There is an innumerable amount of times an older person completely dismissed my decision to use a proprietary or mixed-source platform for a community, yet they lament about not having the patience to troubleshoot the Free Software tools they rely on when they fail (mailing lists and email spam filters, I’m looking at you).

Teach early and teach often 🔗

But that point aside, let’s bring it back to the panel. I think it was Allison Randall and John Sullivan who emphasized the importance of early education around the concepts of Software Freedom. The average middle school student interested in STEM will not comprehend the GPL. However, the Four Freedoms (by design) are easy to comprehend. The freedoms to Read, Run, Remix, and Redistribute are not that difficult to understand. Perhaps part of the answer lies in how we think about messaging to younger folks and keeping foundational concepts like the Four Freedoms at the forefront.

I still lament over the way that Free Software built itself in a technology-centered way instead of a people-centered way, but I digress.

Where are we going? 🔗

The hottest discussions I participated in were from The Rising Ethical Storm in Open Source (Coraline Ada Ehmke) and Software Ethics and Copyleft Licensing, emceed by Karen Sandler. Coraline dropped absolute fire in her talk, even knowing that the essence of her talk would alienate some people. But it was a call-out to us folks in tech who consciously or unconsciously live these values that our Free Software movement is built upon: the freedoms of personal liberty, as it lends itself both for justice and harm.

I won’t spend a lot of time summarizing these talks and sessions, but one interesting thing to look up that Coraline mentioned was the Parable of the Locksmith.

During Karen’s session, I penned what ended up being a short speech in my notebook. When I was eventually passed the mic, I tried to fit too much into too little time, and I was not fully respectful of other folks who also had something to contribute to the discussion. So, instead, I will recap the full essence of what I wanted to say in my blog post.

Our software freedoms are not enough 🔗

The Four Freedoms, the foundation of all copyleft licenses, is not enough.

On the Saturday before CopyleftConf 2020, I presented at FOSDEM 2020 with my colleague and dear friend Mike Nolan on three new freedoms for AI that go beyond software. In our talk, we analyzed the history of how Free Software began as a social movement. It roughly flowed as follows:

1. GNU Project, 1983: Establishment of values
2. Free Software Foundation, 1985: Establishment of organization to champion the values
3. GNU Public License, 1989: Establishment of license to enforce and protect the values

In today’s complex and changing world, we need more than Free Software’s Four Freedoms. This libertarian base was susceptible to the co-opting of its values as “open source.” It was always inevitable, because Free Software was built from the strengths and biases of those who founded the movement (i.e. Richard Stallman).

Free Software was designed with technology at its center, not people. This is to say, it was poorly designed.

Now, we have an ethical dilemma that was always possible because Freedom means freedom to do as you wish, not the freedom of all people.

Some context for discussing legal issues is key, but we need to push the conversation forward beyond semantics. We need to identify whether unethical uses of our software is something we will tolerate. We can’t continue to ignore or delegate social responsibilities for what we do.

So, now what? 🔗

On one hand, we need to be ready to have these conversations about real effects and the impact of what we do on people. Look at the Facebook news feed and the Myanmar genocide. Legal semantics is where we are stuck since we defined the Four Freedoms. But these freedoms are no longer enough.

There is not one answer of where we are going. There are only multilateral answers. We have to be intersectional and inclusive for where we go from here. Free Software needs to turn to its allies not only in law and licenses, but also in labor organizing and regulation authorities.

One direction on my mind is continuing to support D&I initiatives like Outreachy. Outreachy interns do awesome things during their internships, and many continue to do awesome things even when their internships end. Bringing more diverse perspectives to the table, especially from underprivileged groups, is key to giving those perspectives equitable power and influence.

We do have the power. 🔗

But everyone in that room at CopyleftConf 2020, and you, the reader, have some power. We all have some room to influence change for good. But we cannot avoid the discomfort. We can not keep turning away our eyes.

So, what will you do?

For me, I am wrestling with that question actively as I continue to make my way out into the world.

Thanks folx! 🔗

To wrap up this CopyleftConf 2020 report, a few thank-yous are in order:

• Stephen Jacobs: For always being supportive for yet another trip abroad and helping me push my career forward in a number of ways (and footing the bill!)
• Mike Nolan: My co-conspirator, partner in FOSS, and comrade in arms
• Software Freedom Conservancy: For creating and holding this important space.

CopyleftConf 2020 continues to give me a lot to think about and consider. I’m fortunate to have attended. I hope this event report gives additional visibility to some of the conversations held in Brussels this year.

I never intend to adjust myself to injustice.

“I’m proud to be maladjusted.” https://t.co/TFBiWBy6Xc

— Be A King (@BerniceKing) December 12, 2019

Where Byfield was accurate 🔗

While I don’t agree with all of Byfield’s sentiments, he identified some key challenges that still hold truth today: a predisposition to focus on differences and not similarities, an outreach approach centered on ethics and not software, and the importance of opportunities for intersectional interaction.

Predisposition towards difference 🔗

First, Byfield notes the differing age groups of the activist communities and the tendency for viewing others by their differences first, not their similarities. He seems to attribute the tendency to view others by differences first as a characteristic of older generations; however, this is not necessarily the full truth.

As a member of the young activist community, this explanation is too simplistic of the underlying cause. There is also a political motivation by established power to sow division among the population of a nation-state. It makes community organizing more difficult and presents diversity as an issue to “solve” instead of a source of greater unity and common strength.

This is exemplified by the social media algorithms of today that reward sensational content (judged on likes, views, clicks, or other user feedback) and share it widely across a huge platform. In 2006, it was difficult to imagine the relationship social media would have in the lives of an everyday person; today, a great deal of social power is granted to those who understand how to leverage social media, either for good (e.g. social activism) or harm (e.g. deceptively persuading large parts of a nation-state’s population leading up to a national election).

The politics of division are within the fabric of our political systems; this is a challenge for modern-day activism and community organizing to overcome. In identifying this as a challenge, Byfield is correct that a differences-first approach makes it harder to share and spread the importance of FOSS in other activism circles, especially as technology becomes an increasingly relevant way of how we experience our lives and how our systems of law and justice are enforced.

Outreach on ethics, not software 🔗

Second, Byfield suggests an ethics-based approach to outreach is more effective than a software-based approach. This is also correctly noted, even if perhaps overemphasized. The jargon and language of the technology world is not accessible to the large majority of the global population. While some degree of technology literacy might be expected in some populations, much of the existing FOSS community is deeply rooted in technology. Sometimes this limited perspective is counterproductive.

This revisits the rebranding of “Free Software” as “open source” in 1997. For many subsets of the wider open source community in 2019, the default approach to open source software is merely a secondary thought for how to collaboratively work on technology. This is part of the outcome of the Open Source Initiative’s gamble in 1997 by beginning to emphasize the business sensibility and practicality of open source, and de-emphasize the social roots of Free Software (or rather, try and position itself as some sort of translator between these two “worlds”, as if they cannot be spoken of together in the same room).

As such, those who work on open source software projects are not necessarily predisposed to assume the role of an activist. Truly if Free Software is to take root outside of technology, then those who see the ethical values of Free Software need to better organize and promote the values of FOSS externally. This will contribute to the diversity of Free Software activism by helping non-technology activists add FOSS as a tool to their existing work.

Intersectional movement building is the future 🔗

Thirdly and finally, and perhaps most importantly, Byfield suggests the importance of intersectional interactions between Free Software communities and other activist communities. This is a fundamental requirement for the growth of Free Software as a social movement. Those of us in Free Software see the world around us informed by a background informed by technology; this background is emphasized in a world that is generating new, advanced technology at an unprecedented rate. However, while software and technology are important parts of the world around us, they are not the world around us. They are one part of a greater picture of fighting for a common good and welfare for all people. There are others in similar niches who have a deep understanding of their problem space and how they want to approach a challenge.

“One group may be working against child poverty, another for recycling, but the people in these organizations can almost be transferred from one to the next.”

Peter T. Brown, Free Software Foundation Executive Director (2006)

Just like a healthy garden, cross-pollination of these niches is vital to help others understand how we can help each other in accomplishing our mutual goals (this also feeds into why the politics of division explained above is so pervasive and difficult). Bringing Free Software technologists to activist communities where there is not an overwhelming Free Software background (and vice versa) is vital to building an intersectional social movement that strengthens the social impact of Free Software, not just open source.

Where Byfield didn’t go far enough 🔗

Byfield made one assumption on how activists have “their own share of insularity” and that the presence of connections between two movements does not mean they could immediately connect their existing beliefs with new ones. Fioretti’s challenge was in others understanding why they should listen to him; there was a lack of foundational knowledge of open source and technology that is normally assumed of someone who works as a software engineer.

Indeed, attention is a currency in the world of an activist. It is not enough for a FOSS advocate to expect others to listen to you on an appeal of technology. Part of the work in sharing is understanding who you are sharing with; if FOSS wants to take deeper roots in the activist community, it needs to understand the backgrounds of activist communities and be creative in how to appeal the mission of FOSS to the mission of their work. Where you can build in-roads together with others through common initiatives is the beginning of grassroots community organizing. So, while Byfield is right that there is an almost competitive nature of ideas in activism, it is not enough to write insularity off as a fixed aspect of nature. To not acknowledge this is to deny the influence of capitalist power structures in the humanitarian sector as they pertain to sustainable funding.

What are today’s challenges? 🔗

Some of today’s challenges are about inclusion and power.

Inclusion builds power 🔗

Diversity and inclusion (D&I) are important but poorly understood; not only are D&I about including people of different identities in technology, but also people with backgrounds outside of technology. FOSS stands to benefit by including more people who do not necessarily have a strong technology or engineering background. The goal is to inspire different perspectives to contribute in meaningful ways to build sustainable technology.

Instead of seeing diversity and inclusion initiatives as problematic or unneeded, D&I groups in FOSS communities stand to be the most effective people at building community and influence.

Power and governance 🔗

In the activist / humanitarian / non-profit world, there is a power struggle for sustainability as it pertains to funding. Funding models in non-profit work (usually sustained by grants, sponsors, and donors) encourage solutions that get funded, not necessarily solve problems the most effective way. Many organizations struggle with how to achieve sustainable funding without being so dependent on the expiration date of a grant’s funding.

We need more representative governance models in open source communities that reflect the interests of the communities around them, not necessarily an individual, a company, or group of companies. Building governance models that empower people within a community to make decisions and reduce the corrosive influence of money from humanitarian work.

Where do we go from here? 🔗

This blog post is an active reflection of my own thoughts and perspectives of Free Software, activism, and humanitarian work. If you are interested in pushing this conversation further, find me in Brussels, Belgium for any of the following three conferences and let’s chat further:

• 30 January 2020: Sustain Summit
• 31 January 2020: CHAOSScon
• 1-2 February 2020: FOSDEM

If you want to discuss this further, you can also drop a line in our online discussion community, fossrit.community.

Photo by Walid Berrazeg on Unsplash

Unfortunately, as I write later in this blog post, the “window of inspiration” to finish this draft has closed. So I figured it better to publish it as-is than to let it waste.

Unmodified text: “Nothing will be the same” 🔗

The sun slowly slips into the horizon, darkening the sky as the street lamps and buildings illuminate. On the main road through the city, the taxi works its way through the evening weekday traffic in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina. My luggage is stowed in the backseat and I’m seated next to the driver, an older gentleman in his late 40s or early 50s. Unlike other countless taxi rides, the car wasn’t silent inside. The driver was curious. Through gestures, signing, and broken English, we shared stories with each other, about the past, the present, and the future. He asked me about America and the election, and if Americans are really like what is shown in the news. I asked him about life in Sarajevo, and he told me about the problems with employment and people searching for work.

Behind his weathered face, there were eyes that had seen some of the worst tragedy in the region. He lived in the city during the Siege of Sarajevo in the 1990s and remembered Srebrenica in 1995. He lived through years where hate and spite penetrated the hearts of neighbors. Yet, through it all, the man was cheerful and still hopeful. Even from our conversation, he had a resounding hope about the people of Sarajevo. In thirty minutes, I understood a different kind of history in the region than I had during the four years earning my high school diploma.

This is one memory that persists from my experiences over the past five months. On January 17th, 2017, I moved across the oceans to Dubrovnik, Croatia. I studied in Dubrovnik from January until the middle of May.

During the semester and after, there were incomparable experiences that opened my eyes to a world that previously I only imagined. With my experiences with writing, there is a window that is open for a short time. The window is your inspiration. If you look out the window and see something incredible, you are filled with inspiration and you want to capture it. But when you step away, the window only remains open for a short time after. If you miss the opportunity, the window will close and the writing will never reflect it in the same way. This is my cumulative attempt at trying to capture the last five months of my life.

The blog post I wrote comes from this place in my life. It writes in a voice I would not write in today. It also does not accurately reflect my current perspectives. However, instead of tossing it, I figured to publish it unfinished with this disclaimer would be no different.

Unmodified text: The Integral of a Community 🔗

Many times I’ve sat down to write about the same topic in this same seat. Many times I’ve been filled with the same unique feeling. It’s difficult to put into words. It’s easier to understand it and describe it in my head. But it’s easier to describe it to others when I’m still feeling this feeling. It’s harder to come back to it later and write about it.

This “feeling” is something powerful and organic. I believe it is derived from a core part of what makes us human. In part, it’s a form of social stimulation, but it’s also a little more. The “feeling” is what I’m beginning to term the integral of a community.

integral: (adjective) ˈin(t)əɡrəl,inˈteɡrəl/ - necessary to make a whole complete; essential or fundamental.

From Oxford Dictionaries

What is a community? 🔗

Communities are a fundamental part of our daily lives. We all belong to a community in one form or another. In my view, community is a loosely-defined word that gives rise to many forms. Our immediate family is a community. Our workplaces are a community. Our friends are a community. Our schools are a community. Our homes are a community.

Maybe we feel different about some of the above examples of a community. Your feelings on your familial community may be different from mine. Maybe we feel different about our school communities. But regardless of where you fall, there is a community that you are attached to. Maybe you don’t realize it, maybe you do. But this community holds a special part in your heart. It is, by definition, integral to what makes you, you.

Going forward, it is important to establish your own personal definition of this integral community. Whatever group of people you feel most comfortable with. It doesn’t matter what size. It could be one person or it could be twenty. It could be a hundred. But this community is fundamentally important to you.

What is integral of a community? 🔗

Several different components comprise a different community. They are formed around a range of different topics. Communities can be based around blood ties. Your family. They can be based around a shared interest, like art or technology. You may belong to a community based on your profession, such as a group of educators. Or perhaps you belong to a community full of differences. All of its members come from different backgrounds, professions, races, or anything. Maybe it’s because of close geographical location. Maybe it’s because of a former close geographic location. It depends on the community you identify with.

With such wide difference, it can be curious what makes a community so incredible for you. What components are integral to you? If you break down the outer shell, the answer becomes more clearly visible.

You identify with a community when you share a mutual interest, passion, or engagement with the others in your community.

When you feel most interconnected to your community is when you can feel or understand this most.

< more here >

My community 🔗

My community is the free and open source software community at the Rochester Institute of Technology. There are several individuals who have built this community from the ground up to make it what it is. It has endured its fair share of hardships and challenges. It has celebrated victories and achievements among its members. In the stereotypical application of the phrase, it feels like family.

Our communal responsibility 🔗

The entry is lifted out of my journal with minimum edits. I thought about fully revising it or updating it before publishing. Many parts I would write in a different way now, but I decided to let it be. It reflects my perspective at that particular moment and time at 19 years old. It is more personal than other posts I’ve published and maybe it’s a little uncomfortable for me to share, but I felt like it was worth doing anyways.

entry002: 2017-02-12 🔗

Picking up the pen to write in this is always difficult because it feels like there’s too much to say. Part of the problem is that I don’t write frequently enough, which I’ll try to improve. Not everything worth saying needs to be publicly lambasted.

I left the apartment for coffee after again reading the story of Seth Vidal, a founding developer of YUM and a one-time Fedora superstar. Seth was killed in a hit-and-run accident while cycling in 2013.

What strikes me so much about Seth isn’t just the work or code he left behind, but his legacy. There is no shortage of blog posts dedicated in his memory, with many written by folks I see regularly in Fedora. He is held in a high respect and regard not only because of his work, but how he worked with people. He was clearly a sincere friend of many in the community and always knew how to use and share his brilliance to bring out the same brilliance of those he worked with. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, but he always did so courteously and in a way where there was a next step or improvement. As one memoir quoted him as saying with a cocked head and a smile, “Are you sure that’s what you want to do? Because I’m pretty sure it’s not.”

It’s odd for me to read about Seth and how connected to him I feel, despite his death occurring well before I was anywhere near where I am now. Maybe it’s because I, like [thousands] of others, use his software. But more likely is because I see the type of impact and legacy is something I wish to share. Not having so many people write memoirs of my passing, but more about how many lives, communities, and people he touched. I see a man you could approach with anything, whether he knew you or not, and he would give you his honest opinion to help drive or motivate you to success. It may not be what you want to hear, but it will be what you need to hear. Again, delivery of that message is critical, and Seth seemed to be pretty good at it.

I may not know Seth, nor will I ever, but his legacy gives me a strong reminder about what I hold important and how I want to carry out my presence in the projects I’m involved with. If more people want more Seth Vidal’s in the world, then we need to [understand] his values, compare them to our own, and build those values into our own being. This is part of the idea of actively shaping and adapting our values, and never settling with the way we are because we think we know these things. If the mind is open and willing, we are always learning, and thus, always changing.

In summary? Seth’s light fades out and burns into embers, but it never dies. His legacy will always be there, for friends to remember and strangers to learn from. Amidst all of this panicked writing I have to do after DevConf and FOSDEM, Seth’s legacy levels me and reminds me of what’s important. Sometimes what’s really important is logging off and going for a bike ride, or a coffee with notebook and pen, or sharing precious time with loved ones. Seth, you may be gone and have no memory of me, but I have your memory, and I hope you are with me too.

Justin Wheeler

Across this spectrum of bold headlines and addicting scrolling, I began to wonder about identity. What determines how we choose to identify where we originate from? What makes us decide to disassociate from our birthplace? What parts of our culture make us proud and content and what parts are like fresh wounds withheld from time and space needed to heal? I started to wonder about my own identity and what it means to me to be defined as an American.

I fight a growing sense of dissatisfaction and disbelief of what I read happening each day. As I read about the United States and how its citizens are represented on a global stage, a feeling of repulsion sinks into my stomach. Society greatly shaped my perspective of what it meant to be an American as I grew up. What is around me now is contradicting: the qualities of inclusiveness and diversity espoused to the identity of being an American are the same qualities I feel are under attack.

One afternoon as I walked back to my Chicago apartment, I passed a Mexican restaurant. As I walked by, I searched for a menu to measure how authentic it would be compared to offerings in Atlanta (I’ve notoriously had a difficult time finding authentic Mexican food north of Virginia). However, I was disappointed, as the choices fell into the category of American-Mexican food and not the authentic dishes I craved.

But even though I continued on and left the food behind me, the restaurant didn’t leave my mind. As I continued to ponder on what it means to be American, I couldn’t get this restaurant, and countless others like it, out of my mind. One of the most unique observations of my travels is how culturally homogeneous so many countries are. From my experience living in Europe and visiting India, the difference of cultural diversity from my American experience was impossible to miss. Each country was mostly shaped by its dominant ethnic group. To see a Nicaraguan in Croatia or a Swede in India would be a memorable encounter because it was outside of preconceived expectations. But in America, I board a New York City, Chicago, or Washington DC subway, and I always remain pleasantly surprised at how unique and different all the passengers are.

But what of the Mexican restaurant? If my train rides reflect this unique cultural identity, what is the significance of the Mexican restaurant and why can’t I forget it?

Suddenly, I realize perhaps American culture is several shards of all other cultures that assimilate here. Instead of the restaurant being an imitation of the real thing, what if it is as real and independent of an experience as the original? Instead of being a clone or a derivative, what if they are their own original craft and subculture? In a way, they are mostly unique – many of the fusions of culture, from food to celebrations, and architecture to film are only found in this sort of combination here.

These pieces of foreign culture are transplanted seeds, taken from their native soil and planted into a new environment. It requires adaption and perhaps creativity too. But these pieces of culture, whether they are motivated to be imitations or not, are created from a place of love and genuine human connection. They stem from a desire to celebrate who we are and where we come from. Furthermore, they offer an opportunity to share these things with others and to pass along the memories and experiences to others in the hopes that they too will see the world from a different perspective, if only for a passing moment.

As I continue to read past another day of headlines, I feel hopeful knowing this spirit of America, although challenged today, remains and exists. In a city like Chicago, it would almost be impossible to miss this range of diversity. While some choose to wrap words of hate and fear around the red, white, and blue stripes of the American flag, I try to remain mindful to keep this flag closer to me too, and wrap it around my values of love and compassion for others, and what it means to me to be an American in this political era.

Many times, I’ve sat down to write this. The same number of times, I never finish and delete it all. Many times, I’ve wondered how to say the things I want to say. I’ve been doing this for years. However, the motivation this time is different.

Two important events made me realize that writing this is important. A conversation with one of my friends about what was happening in my life reminded me of the critical, psychological benefit of communicating and being honest and open about myself. The second thing was an insight from an article I saw on Twitter, about Sheryl Sandberg and dealing with grief. The profound insight in the article to me was the intersection between effective leadership and expressing emotion. “Expressing emotion when you’ve gone through extreme pain is not weakness. It is humanity.”

This post isn’t like anything I’ve written before, but it is a necessary next step for me to move forward.

I live with depression.

It’s a battle that has various turns and twists, and different highs and lows. There are days, weeks, even months where I don’t feel its weight. But there are also long periods of time where it envelops me and becomes my world.

There are some insights I’ve learned over time, though. In the spirit of being more open and true to myself, I want to share some of my experiences and also some advice from those experiences.

In my own world 🔗

Others who have experiences of their own can recount similar details to the looming feelings that overtake them. Sometimes it comes at the most unexpected moments, even if everything around you is going right. Yet, there it is.

The looming feeling deep in your stomach.

The heavy weight that presses down on your consciousness.

Sleeping early and waking up late, or not sleeping at all.

The sucking of your productive energy towards meaningless tasks, like spending more of your time reading about the lives of other people instead of living your own. The feelings have a wide range. Regardless of the specifics, anyone who has walked this quiet path can take these general points and recount them into their own story.

The most difficult part is the creeping feeling when the depression begins to take hold, but it feels like there’s nothing that can stop it.

Now that I’ve had more years to reflect on my depression, I’m better able to pick out some of its origins and characteristics. Even knowing these things, there isn’t one form of depression or one way it looks like. What form it takes on depends on contextual evidence and what’s happening around me.

Depression is… 🔗

Sometimes, depression wears the mask of incompetence. It’s not uncommon for me to set too high of a bar for myself to reach. When I don’t meet those expectations or if I fall behind, my self-esteem slowly erodes. One missed assignment or deadline turns into two, then four. What was a small problem is exacerbated into a chain reaction of many problems. This builds the feeling of incompetence. Navigating the web of problems after it is spun becomes difficult and drains all energy. Personal motivation decreases leaving me wondering why I bother at all.

Sometimes, depression causes you to cast poor comparisons. It’s looking at the highlight reel of other peoples’ lives while you’re going through the cut-out reel. I wrap myself up in the achievements and successes of others. It’s an echo chamber of negative thought, where the lives of friends, family, or acquaintances remind me of my self-perceived incompetence. Everyone seems smarter and brighter. It looks like everyone else has it together when I’m struggling to meet deadlines and remembering to eat. Social media aggravates this. The entire premise of social media is to share the “highlight reel”, to show off when everything in your life is going right—which is why social media is the worst thing to look at when you’re in the trenches.

John Green shared a video recently about how we frame our lives that describes this well.

In which John discusses the ways we frame reality, the distance between the selves we put online and the selves we inhabit, and the challenge of understanding public lives as self-portraiture rather than reality.

There are other forms that it takes too. But underneath its form, the emotions are usually the same (at varying intensities). It’s a spectrum of feelings and activities, ranging from loss of interest, difficulty finding motivation, worthlessness, unusual sleep patterns, nail-biting, and at its worst, wanting a permanent way to escape. This goes without saying, over the years, I have become more adept at pushing out the harsher thoughts by recognizing them and reaching out to a close friend when I feel that way. But the spectrum varies depending on the surrounding events.

Invisible 🔗

My biggest challenge was how I kept it all hidden. Only a handful of people knew about some of my difficulties and what was going on behind the scenes. There were two critical fears that always prevented me from stepping out of the dark.

If I were to be honest about what I was going through, I didn’t want to be treated differently by others, personally or professionally. I’ve always felt that if I presented an idea or had a conversation with someone, agreements or disagreements were because of the ideas being conveyed, not because someone cast judgment on what they think I can handle. This was and is valuable to me.

But why was this a fear of mine? We have a problem of “talking about it”. The stigma is that it’s wrong to “feel bad”. It’s not comfortable to talk about. It’s difficult for others to sometimes relate. The tone that people speak to you changes. This stigma created the fear that every conversation would become heavy-handed with special treatment. What I realized is that this fear isn’t justification to keep the lights off.

By becoming transparent about it, my hope is that this won’t be the case. I don’t want to be treated differently than how anyone has already treated me. If you’re wondering about how you can help, this is one of the best ways: to treat me the same way. (Although more hugs are never something I complain about!)

However, there was one more fear that kept me in the dark.

To become more comfortable with sharing these emotions, it means being honest when someone asks how you are and reaching out for help when you need it. But it can be a lot to ask someone to help untangle the thick cobwebs when you’re having a hard time seeing through. From being on the receiving end before, I knew how it can be draining (even if it’s worthwhile and makes a difference in the end). My fear was putting too much burden on others and draining their energy on problems that don’t concern them. Everyone has their own stress and problems too. As a result, I rarely shared my pain and difficulty with others to avoid placing more stress on others.

When you’re afraid of adding more stress onto others, it impacts the type of actions you make. It might look typing out a long message when someone asks if everything is okay, then deleting it to say, “Everything is fine!” Other times, it’s the confusion over how to answer a simple question like, “How are you?” Sometimes it’s simply feeling alone.

But even though this is a fear, there is also a balance and a way to prevent adding so much stress to a close one’s life. Real relationships don’t flow like a river, in a single direction. It’s like a two-way road where traffic passes in both directions. It’s unsustainable for one person to only lean on one person. It goes both ways and the communication has to be two-way to be successful. However, letting everything out at once after it’s built up for so long isn’t the answer either. This is that overloading stress that creates this fear of sharing in the first place. Communication needs to be early and often. You have to share and you have to be honest.

I realized these fears shouldn’t keep me from sharing my story. The benefits of being open and sincere outweigh the perceived negatives from these fears. It takes a lot to throw yourself out in the open, but once it’s out, some of the extra weight falls off.

Opening the blinds, turning on the lights 🔗

But my purpose with this post wasn’t to only reflect on my personal experiences either. I hate raising problems without offering means to solving them. There are plenty of ways to learn about how to deal with depression. You can talk to a therapist and seek medicine too. But I wanted to share some of the things that have helped me get out of the hole and fight back.

However, none of this advice should be taken over professional medical advice. I am not a doctor and I won’t act like one. If you are experiencing severe depression, please take the first step and talk to a doctor.

Seriously… talk about it 🔗

Maybe this seems like common sense. Maybe you are afraid of what others might think of you if you tell them “the truth”. What talking about it looks like is up to you. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a family member, or a trusted individual, psychotherapy (or talk therapy) has significant benefits for helping you put your best foot forward. Whether it’s formal or informal, professional or friend-to-friend, getting it out there helps. It lets you have a chance to decompress from the build-up of stress. It also gives someone else a chance to remind you of the positive counterpoints to the negative thoughts.

Sometimes the best responses I’ve received is just an affirmation of love. Telling someone that you value them and that you love and care for them goes a long way.

Find your detox 🔗

Your “detox” activity depends on you. Everyone has a different form of what helps remove them from the negative emotion and feelings. The purpose of detoxing is to give yourself a chance to separate from what’s providing the stress and to step away, even if for a short while. Usually, one of the best first steps is unplugging from the laptop, the phone, or other digital ties. Some time off from the grind will help you to refocus and bring your mind to a better place.

For example, some of my detox activities are listening to the right music and taking a walk. My music might be my best therapy. Sometimes it’s having a conversation with a close friend about something completely random. Other times, it’s writing a few lines into a notebook. What the activity is depends on you. But it’s important to find those positive, uplifting experiences and remember them when your vision becomes cloudy.

Look up, even if it feels wrong 🔗

One of the things that I’ve started to practice is persuading my mind how to think. Even when everything looks or feels completely awful, I make myself look up. I tell myself that I’m feeling good, and I make myself genuinely believe it. I put my entire faith into that positive energy, of what I know things should be. It’s a challenge. It’s not easy. I can’t always do it. But it’s an art of persuasion. And with any art, it takes practice.

The challenge is to sincerely look for the positivity and happy emotions that are around you. You have to tune yourself to the same emotional frequency as the positive energy. Like a radio signal, you have to turn your channel to receive that positive energy and emotion. And if you’re ready to receive, it will present itself.

In the more difficult times, this is the hardest advice to follow. The negative thoughts creep back into your mind. But recognition is key. To see and identify those thoughts and consciously acknowledge them for what they are is the first step. After identifying the negative energy, you have to turn your own channel. Instead of thinking, “I don’t want to feel that way,” think of the way you do want to feel. Think of the positive energy, emotions, experiences, or memories. Tell yourself, “I want to feel this way,” or “I want to feel good.” Even if it seems trivial and impossible, invest your energy and focus into attracting that positive energy. If you convince yourself that it’s there and you are going to find it, circumstances change. They have a strange way of working themselves out. But you have to know what you want.

Even when it feels like you’re in an emotional headlock straight to the ground, twist a little more to look up. At the sun, the light. The positive emotions and energy in life. And keep looking up.

Remember what’s good 🔗

Depression isn’t a one-time illness. You don’t have a revelation one magical day and are suddenly “cured” of depression. It’s a cycle, with ups and downs. It requires balance and powerful support systems to stave off its hardest moments. The first step is recognizing the tug-of-war and identifying when things start to feel wrong. Make the steps to pull back from the things that bring the negative thoughts and energy. Remember what you do want and how you want to feel. Remember what’s good.

It took me a long time to write this. For six or seven years, I’ve tried to find the right words. But what I realized is that if I wait for the right words, I’ll wait forever. Even with the advice I gave, I’m not perfect and I’m not always able to fight it every time. This is something I actively live with. I have good days and I have bad days. The bad days are what brought me to write this in the first place. But the sun always comes up, one way or another. That’s what I always have to remind myself.

There are many stories out there. But this one is mine. Thank you.

https://communityblog.fedoraproject.org/hackmit-meets-fedora/

HackMIT is the annual hackathon event organized by students at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Massachusetts. HackMIT 2016 took place on September 17th and 18th, 2016. This year, the Fedora Project partnered with Red Hat as sponsors for the hackathon. Fedora Ambassadors Charles Profitt and Justin Wheeler attended to represent the project and help mentor top students from around the country in a weekend of learning and competitive hacking. Fedora engaged with a new audience of students from various universities across America and even the globe.

Arriving at HackMIT 🔗

The Fedora team arrived in Massachusetts a day early on Friday to ensure prompt arrival at the event the following morning. Fedora was one of the first sponsors to arrive on MIT’s campus Saturday morning, and scouted one of the best positions on the floor. Fedora was given a choice of anywhere in the bleachers surrounding the floor. As a result, the team set up Fedora’s banners close to many of the tables where hackers would spend the weekend.

On the morning of the first day, over a thousand students arrived on the MIT campus. Around 10:00am, the kickoff ceremony began in the main auditorium. The event staff introduced themselves and the structure of the event. After covering the basics, every sponsor was given a 30 second “elevator pitch” to explain their company or project, and share anything important with the hackers. Justin represented Fedora and Red Hat on stage to introduce Fedora and what Fedora wanted to help students with. He introduced Fedora as a distribution targeted towards developers, briefly introduced the three editions of Fedora, and offered help for anyone wanting to open source their hack or seek support with open source tooling.

May the hacking begin! 🔗

After the sponsor introductions, hackers relocated to the main floor to start seeking teams and begin working on projects. While HackMIT was getting into full swing, many people visited the Fedora area before jumping into a project. Many of the students who talked with Charles and Justin were either surprised to see Fedora at an event like HackMIT or were curious to know what was going on in Fedora. For the most part, many students were familiar with Linux through classes or lectures. The ones familiar with Linux knew about it from hands-on experience or from guided instruction in classes. A smaller number of people were running Linux environments or using them in servers or other ways.

Overall, the demographic of people attending the hackathon were generally familiar with Linux, but not at an advanced level. This group was ideal for promoting Fedora as a developer environment. The ease of setting up a development workspace or installing dependencies for projects intrigued many students. HackMIT was an ideal opportunity to present Fedora to a new group of budding technological enthusiasts. HackMIT participants had an organic interest in Fedora and wanted to know how Fedora made development easier or what made it different from other distributions.

Personal engagement 🔗

During the event, Charles walked around the various tables to talk with students while Justin manned the Fedora area. Charles introduced himself to the hackers and asked to know what they were working on or what their plans were. For many teams, he provided advice on how to get over hurdles with first planning and project direction. He checked back in with these groups across the weekend to see how they progressed.

At the Fedora space, Justin fielded questions from students about Linux, what Fedora offers, and about open source software. Some people were familiar with Fedora, and a small handful of students were running Fedora as a primary operating system. However, most students were only familiar with Linux and were curious to know more. As a student, Justin offered specific advice about contributing to open source software and how helpful it is to gain real-world experience. Some students expressed interest in contributing but were unsure about where to start. Justin coached students through key steps to start with on beginning their open source adventure. He identified the process of choosing a project to contribute to, matching something genuinely interesting with technical skills, and getting involved with the community.

Additionally, there were two students organizing other hackathons in the country with a specific focus towards open source software development. The Ambassadors engaged with these students and joined in a dialogue about making open source a critical part of hackathons. More information about these events will become available in the coming future.

Evaluating impact 🔗

To help gauge our impact with the event, there was a limited edition HackMIT 2016 Attendee badge that attendees could claim during the event. The team leveraged Fedora Badges as a tool to help tell the story of our impact at the event. Through Badges, you can see a list of FAS accounts that claimed the badge from the event and their account activity in the long run. Bee Padalkar’s FOSDEM event evaluation demonstrates how this data can be used. Ten people claimed the badge during the weekend. One of the benefits of using badges as a tool for measuring impact and engagement is the follow-up it allows us to make with what badge claimers do in the Fedora community.

However, there were more ways to measure engagement with the students and hackers than only with badges. Many of the most valuable insight into our impact was follow-up on the second morning. Charles went around to most of the tables he visited on the first day leading up to the final deadline. With one team, he helped do some live testing in the last 30 minutes before the deadline since her team was asleep from the previous night. Engagements like these left a positive impression of Fedora, and by extension, the community.

What was our engagement? 🔗

The type of interactions and conversations Fedora held with students and other attendees was productive and motivating, not only to the students but also to the Ambassador team. People were genuinely interested in Fedora and it was easier to shape their interest into an insightful discussion about what Fedora enables students to create and develop. A powerful message about open source software development was also delivered during the event. This stands in contrast to some other hackathons in the United States which are sometimes set up more like unofficial career fairs. HackMIT clearly held a strong focus on community. Events with that kind of management and direction are where Fedora succeeds and has a more valuable impact.

Leaving the event, the Fedora team was confident that we had a powerful impact on students during the event. For many, Fedora was not only introduced as an operating system, but as a tool for accomplishing and doing. Fedora provides the tools and utilities students need to build their projects and drive them forward. Open source as a development practice was also introduced to many for the first time, or deeper explained for those with a mild interest. These messages and the team’s other engagements were warmly received.

Looking ahead 🔗

The Fedora Ambassadors of North America would like to make a special thanks to Red Hat and Tom Callaway for partnering to sponsor this event. Without Red Hat’s help, attending this event would not have been possible. Our engagement and impact after HackMIT excites the Ambassador team. We hope many students from the event turn to Fedora not only as an operating system, but as a tool for their expanding technological toolbox. A congratulations also goes to the organizers of HackMIT for putting together a thoroughly planned and carefully executed event that placed a strong focus on community, which fits within one of Fedora’s four key foundations, Friends.

We hope to return to Cambridge again next year!

You can read Charles Profitt’s event report on his blog.

How to be hacker 🔗

You may ask yourself, how does one become a hacker? How do you become 1337? The answer might be simpler than you think. Old traditions, cheesy ’90s movies, and the information era.

On April 17th, I joined up with hacker Brendan Whitfield (beWhitty) and wannabe hacker Mike Nolan (nolski) to enjoy in a traditional viewing of 1995’s Hackers. The movie is described as the following.

A young boy is arrested by the U.S. Secret Service for writing a computer virus and is banned from using a computer until his 18th birthday. Years later, he and his new-found friends discover a plot to unleash a dangerous computer virus, but they must use their computer skills to find the evidence while being pursued by the Secret Service and the evil computer genius behind the virus.

Among the students of the FOSS@MAGIC program, the movie is like a cult classic. Within my first semester with the group, I became familiar with many notorious quotes and lines from the movie. Other students, now alumni, also encouraged a viewing.

There was no better time than the present.

Why be hacker 🔗

The cultural influence of the ’90s is clearly present in the movie. When we were viewing it, the movie was clearly written by a writer with as much experience with computers as the actors playing the parts. The stereotypes were laid thicker than molasses with the crossing of the “high school troublemaker” and the “tough punk” to define the hacker “mentality” of the characters. The director probably used a nephew, niece, or other cousin who “sat in front of a computer all day” as the inspiration for driving the characters and plot forward. It would be surprising if anyone who had ever used a computer or knew anything more than just using them for text documents and spreadsheets was involved in the creative process.

So, why bother seeing the movie at all? For all of the reasons mentioned above. Anyone in the technology or a digitally-oriented field would cringe at how the movie portrays the hacker mentality. And that’s why it’s so great. It is hard to imagine a viewing of the movie taken seriously. For our viewing, there were severe outbreaks of laughter and countless moments of cringe-worthy comedic relief, all wrapped up in a good time for a Friday night.

Now we are hackers 🔗

After listening to many references of this movie during the past year and wondering what it meant exactly when “the pool is on the roof”, I have graduated to the status of full hacker along with fellow FOSSboxer nolski.

To demonstrate our understanding of the movie, we had a brief showing of our own in the #rit-foss channel on the freenode IRC network.

[23:00:52] <nolski> jflory7: beWhitty and I have decided that we are dropping out of college and starting a bar themed after the movie hackers
[23:45:26] <nolski> jflory7 and I are now official hackers.
[23:45:39] <nolski> We have experienced the movie Hackers
[23:46:17] <CrashOverride> nolski, beWhitty: Mess with the best
[23:46:20] <CrashOverride> Die like the rest
[23:47:28] <Guest81889> u on my turf CrashOverride?
[23:47:47] <CrashOverride> Guest81889: you are not 1337 enuf
[23:49:56] <Nikon> You're in the butter zone now, baby.
[23:50:11] <ThePlague> Never fear
[23:50:15] <ThePlague> I is here
[23:51:21] <Acid-Burn> Never send a boy to do a woman's job.
[23:51:25] <CrashOverride> I don't play well with others.
[23:52:12] <CrashOverride> Hack the planet! Hack the planet, nolski!
[23:52:23] <nolski> Hack the planet CrashOverride!
[23:52:46] * nolski is finally 1337 enuf
[23:54:50] <nolski> scp god@gibson:/.workspace/.garbage. ~/1337h4x0rsfilez/
[23:54:53] <ThePlague> THEY GOT THE GARBAGE FILE!
[23:55:50] <nolski> beWhitty++
[23:55:56] <nolski> jflory7++
[23:56:02] <nolski> hackers++
[23:56:09] <ThePlague> nolski: Type "cookie", you idiot.
[23:56:17] <nolski> cookie
[23:57:14] <CrashOverride> HACK THE GIBSON
[23:57:16] <CrashOverride> ThePlague--
[00:02:41] <CrashOverride> My crime is that of curiosity. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto.

I am submitting this blog post as my Meetup #3 for the Humanitarian Free and Open Source Software Development course at the Rochester Institute of Technology. I hope to help spread the hacker culture perpetuated by this film by possibly planning a late night screening of Hackers at the NASA Space Apps Challenge 2016 at RIT, if possible.